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A Normal Weekend

This past weekend was refreshingly normal. I was able to relax on Saturday and was also able to attend both church services on Sunday. My leg is not at 100 percent yet, but it is getting better, and that is a good sign. I have been soaking in the whirlpool tub more often, and that seems to be helping. Also, I have not had to use the wrap in several days. Hopefully, the pain will continue to subside, and I can continue to exercise.

A good resource for me has been located at heartosaurus.com. I submitted my story a little while back, and it has been posted on the site.

I continue to search for and read survival stories. There are times that I cannot believe that it has been fourteen weeks, and then there are times that I am reminded that it has ONLY been fourteen weeks.

The last trip to the hospital had a profound effect on me. Being back in the ICU, not being able to see my children, the lack of sleep, the pricks and just the over all experience of being there was really tough on me the second time around. I was extremely thankful that the tests came back negative, and I know that it was the power of prayer. The text and emails from people telling me they were praying for me were encouraging.

The pain in my leg is still there, but does not seem as severe. I am keeping it tightly wrapped with a bandage, which allows me to walk. The pain is also not as consistent as it was earlier, but when it hits, it is still excruciating. If it does not improve by next week, I am going to make a trip to the doctors.

I had a follow-up appointment scheduled with my surgeon on February 1st. A call came from U of M yesterday letting me know that Dr. Patel confirmed that the CAT scan looked really good, and the appointment was canceled. The CAT scan from February 3rd was canceled as well. We are still going to do the Echo gram that was scheduled for the same day, as well as having me fitted for a Holter heart monitor. I will then follow-up with my cardiologist and surgeon on February 10th. If everything looks good, than I will be clear for one year.

I had to record my blood pressure twice a day in a chart for three weeks and send that to the specialist. My average pressure was 113/68 in this time period. I received a call a few days ago that the pressure is really good, and to continue with the current medications. I have to record my pressure three times a week going forward, and no follow-up is necessary as long as the numbers stay within this range.

My New Year’s Weekend

On Tuesday, December 28th, I started feeling a pain in my upper right inner thigh. The pain was in a very small area and it was a stabbing, stinging pain. By Wednesday, the pain was increasing to the point where nearly every step was excruciating. I only felt the pain while walking. On Thursday, I started to experience some chest pain in the middle part of my sternum. The pain was different from the normal sternum discomfort due to my surgery. By the time Thursday evening rolled around, I was very uncomfortable. Since I know that the Aorta extends down around the groin, I became concerned once I started experiencing pain in both my chest and groin.

On Thursday evening, December 30th, at approximately 7:00pm, I drove to the emergency room at Genesys. Because of my history, I was in a room within ten minutes. After all the initial stabilizing procedures, I was taken for a CAT scan. Soon after my CAT scan, I was given a Doppler scan on my leg to rule out a blood clot. The doctors at Genesys had a difficult time reading the results of the CAT scan mainly because of the surgical procedure on my Aorta. The Cardiac surgeon on duty was contacted, and he too was not sure about the results because the surgery had not been conducted at Genesys. A surgeon at U of M was then contacted and he thought that it would be a good idea for me to be transported there so that they could check me out themselves. At approximately 12:30am, on Friday, December 31st, I was in an ambulance and on my way to U of M.

At 1:15am, I arrived at the emergency room at U of M. There was a team waiting for me, and the picking and prodding began. Blood was drawn, and the CAT scan from Genesys was sent for review, and the wait began. Sarah and my brother were by my side which provided much-needed comfort. At approximately 4:00am, the emergency room doctor updated me. She said that all the blood worked checked out fine, and we were waiting for the CAT scan to be reviewed. Soon after the ER doctor had stopped by, a doctor from the cardiac group arrived. He stated that the CAT scan did show a suspicious spot in my groin area, and it was possible that I could be dissecting in that area. This would also explain the pain in my leg. The cardiac doctor also stated that it was possible that the spot could simply be a bad image from the CAT scan at Genesys, and he was waiting for another doctor to take a look at it. Apparently the doctor he was waiting for is a world renown doctor and this is someone he wanted to see the scan. After another hour, the cardiac doctor was back, and told us that because of them being unsure of the scan, they did not want to take any chances. I was going to be admitted into the Cardiac Vascular ICU. The plan was to give me another CAT scan so that they could get a good picture, and review it themselves. When getting a CAT scan, a dye is shot throughout your body and it is not good for the kidneys. I was going to be stabilized with fluids and other medications in order to protect my kidneys from harm before the next CAT scan. At around 6:00am, I arrived in my room at the ICU. After I was settled, Sarah and my brother headed home to get some rest.

After a little bit of rest, at about 10:45am, one of the head doctors from the Cardiac group stopped by. He explained that there were two spots that were suspicious. One located in my abdomen, and one in my groin. The doctor stated that they were not going to take any chances, and needed to keep me stabilized until their CAT scan could be conducted. He also informed me that they would not be doing the CAT scan until New Years Day, so that a safe amount of time had passed between Cat scans. Soon after he left, I got up, into a chair, and thought about all that was going on. At approximately 3:00pm, Sarah arrived. During the day, I was kept hydrated with fluids through an IV, as well as some other medications to protect my kidneys. Other than two IV lines that were in me, one of the more painful experiences were the Heparin shots that were given to me to prevent blood clots. These were one of the most painful shots I have ever experienced, and they were given into my stomach.

Sarah and I were able to be together to ring in the new year. Soon after midnight, Sarah left to stay in the hotel located at the U of M Hospital campus, and I also went to bed. The nurse came in every two hours for vitals, so I was unable to sleep consistently, but did sleep a little in between those times. Unfortunately I had to get another Heparin shot at 6:00am. I got up at a little after 7:00am, and Sarah arrived shortly there after. A little bit later, my grandfather and brother arrived to spend the day with me.

On Saturday, January 1st, at 9:00am, I was taken for my CAT scan. Soon after the scan, the doctor from the morning before came in and informed me that it would be sometime in the afternoon before everyone had a chance to read the scan. The same world renown doctor that had read my Genesys scan was going to read the new scan. The anticipation of the results was difficult.

At approximately 1:30pm, I received the news that everything checked out fine. My Aorta was stable, and I would be discharged shortly. I was very relieved. At about the same time that I was being discharged, four dear friends arrived for a visit. Their visit was very encouraging, and I was excited to be able to share the good news with them.

There was no conclusion for the pain in my leg, and it is still excruciating and painful to walk. Currently, I am keeping it tightly wrapped, and also keeping heat on it as well as taking pain medication. If I cannot get it managed within the next couple of days, I will need to go to my family doctor and see if he has any ideas.

Today, Sunday, January 2nd, we are resting and trying to catch up on the lost sleep of the last couple of days. For those that contacted us, and let us know that you were praying, I want to let you know that it is extremely encouraging to us. I hope that I can avoid any more of these episodes, and will be able to move forward with my recovery.

A Special Song

I wanted to share a song that has meant a lot to me over the course of the last eleven weeks that is no stranger to many of you. The song is “Praise you in this storm” by Casting Crowns. There are many times that I hear a song that I really like, but sometimes the lyrics jump out and hit me when I am going through specific circumstances. This is one of those songs.

First, I wanted to share a story about this song. It is a song that I have always liked, and the words started to become much more meaningful while in the hospital. After I was home, I received a Get Well card from my sister and brother-in-law in Connecticut. When I opened the card, “I will praise you in this storm” started playing. It is something that I really needed at that moment, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was a God moment. Thank you Kevin and Katie for allowing God to use you to encourage me.

Below are the lyrics to the song:

“Praise You In This Storm”

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Here is a link to the song with lyrics provided. Thank you Casting Crowns for writing a song that has been a big comfort to me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ

I Made it to Christmas

Christmas was good. I like just lying around and being with family. I could not help but soak in the fact that there was a really good chance of me not being here for this special day, and so I appreciated seeing my children so happy. Many of the little things that are taken for granted daily, I appreciate even more. Things like eating dinner nightly as a family, and seeing Gabe to my right, Sarah to my left and Hope across from me. I have enjoyed sitting with Gabe and playing chess and Foosball a lot as he has the week off from school. I have also felt well enough to play Gabe’s new Madden 2011 for the Wii. Only to get smoked by him of course. I have went to where Hope is playing, and just sit down and have a conversation with her. I just really appreciate my family, and what they mean to me.

While in the hospital, towards the end of my stay, I remember one evening, late at night, while all alone realizing the severity of everything that had happened to me, and my future quality of life. I grasped the reality that there is a good chance that I will not be around for very long. I focused on target points that I would like to make it too. At this time it was Halloween. My kids enjoy this time, and I wanted to be there for it. After Halloween, I focused on Thanksgiving, than Christmas, now it is New Years.

I started into the book of Ecclesiastes last night, which is a sermon by Solomon, and read these verses from Chapter 2:10&11:

I denied nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.

 

The commentary part of my Bible had this to say:

In all our accomplishments, even the big ones, our good feelings are only temporary. Security and self-worth are not found in these accomplishments, but far beyond them in the love of God. Think about what you consider worthwhile, where you place your time, energy, and money. Will you one day look back and decide that these, too, were a “chasing after the wind”?

Letters To My Doctors

I was able to gather all the names of the doctors that were a part of everything that took place on October 8th. There are four doctors that there is no denying that God directly controlled the decisions of. From the ambulance ride on down to the actual surgery came some amazing decisions that will impact me forever. I don’t think I have been able to share the entire order of events with anyone, but it is an amazing story.

I could not sleep last night, so I got up, and until 4am wrote letters to each doctor. This process unlocked the door to some emotions that have been buried. There are some emotions that have not been let out that are flowing freely today. I know there are some more doors with more locks still yet to come.

Warning – Honesty Ahead

If you cannot handle someone being honest, then please do not read any further.

Christmas. The whole feeling of Christmas to me this year feels a lot different than ever before. I have the “I can take it or leave it” attitude. I am not excited about it. I cannot seem to grasp that whole atmosphere of excitement that I usually have around this time. Sure, Christmas is about Christ birth, so for those that are about to throw that at me, I realize that. You know what I am referring too. The general excitement that we feel during this time of the year. I don’t have it. I do feel joy for my kids excitement however. I will not be that guy that has been through some hardships and mope around. I will do my best to show that I am happy. I am holding out hope that I can gain that overall excitement, and I am talking to the Lord about it.

Ok, enough of that.

Yesterday was one of those two-step backwards days. Since my last post, I have been feeling good. I had a great weekend. I went on my annual Christmas shopping trip with my mom that lasted for nine hours. Although I was exhausted in the evening, I woke up on Sunday feeling really good and had a great day. Yesterday, I woke up tired, sore and just not feeling well. It was just an overall blah sort of day. It was extremely frustrating. I slept a little in the early evening, and then had a decent nights sleep last night. Today I am feeling a little better. My PVC’s have been acting up a lot, and I think that has something to do with my fatigue.

I am hoping for nothing but forward steps leading into the Christmas weekend.

Proverbs 22:4

Tired of being Ill

I have had countless people say “Give yourself a break, it has only been ten weeks”. I realize this, but being in pain, fatigued and restricted every single day for nearly seventy days now really is getting to me. I pray daily for strength (Psalm 121:2). I am thankful for good friends, warriors of prayer, that are praying and encouraging me often. I hear people say “You look great”, and I do appreciate the kind words, but I do not always feel as good as I look. I try to straighten my shoulders, suck it up, and put a smile on my face, but inside I do realize that people may forget that I still have a long ways to go, and that I still need and value the prayers of many.

Sleeping is still an issue. A couple of days ago I attempted to go back to one pillow, but I could feel a lot of pressure in my sternum when I did this, so I had to stay with two pillows slightly inclined. This may seem like a small issue, but when you have slept for 39 years on one pillow it can be rough, and it is causing me a lack of sleep. My back is also suffering from it.

As some of my Facebook friends know, I was following the story of Richard Holbrooke. When I woke up on Monday morning, three days after his surgery, and saw that he had passed away, I was surprised on how emotional it made me.

There have been several small episodes that I could justify making a trip to the emergency room over, but I try to relax and not jump ship at every ache and pain. I do have a newer random sharp pain in my right chest area that is really annoying. Last night we discussed going to the emergency room, but it is not consistent, and I am trying to determine if it is a bone and muscle issue, or an internal issue that I should have looked at.

Hopefully I will be able to sail into the two important appointments in February without any major issues.

Reality Check

I have not had any significant issues since my appointment with the Cardiovascular Medicine group on December 7th.  Although my pain is certainly improving, it is still annoyingly there all the time. Yesterday I couldn’t help but sneeze and the pain was unbearable, and there are several other restrictions due to the pain that are extremely frustrating.

I have been riding my bike on the indoor trainer a couple miles nearly daily. This has seemed to help my fatigue a little bit. Although it wears me out significantly, I am encouraged to be back on the bike. As long as I do not suffer any setbacks, I am hoping to be in better shape come spring as long as I can keep at it.

Although I am feeling less fatigued, have better pain management and can seem to do more, there are numerous instances that remind me of the limitations of my body.  I have a long ways to go, but am thankful to have made it this far.

Today I had an appointment with the Cardiovascular Medicine group in Ann Arbor to go over some of my prescriptions and to be better educated on my blood pressure. Just like all the other doctors, he was amazed at me having a dissection at this age, and the inability to pinpoint a cause for the dissection. We spent a lot of time going over my blood pressure requirements, and what it means to my heart and aorta. I was overwhelmed with all the information, but was very pleased with the thoroughness.

The doctor made some prescription changes. He doubled my dose of the DioVan and now I only have to take it once a day opposed to twice a day. He also changed the beta blocker medication I was on to a newer medicine. I also can now take this once a day instead of twice a day as before. He explained that this beta blocker lowers blood pressure in two different ways. It lowers your normal outer pressure like the one you take from your arm, yet it keeps my pressure around my aorta a different, lower pressure. Another way he explains it, is that the medication keeps your heart from banging too hard on your aorta. This sort of technology amazes me. I thank God daily for leading me to Ann Arbor and this whole grouping of doctors. They are all certainly cutting edge.

I rode my bike for the first time since the surgery last night. I only did two miles and it took me sixteen minutes. I am extremely frustrated with the forced limitations of my body, but I do feel blessed to be able to get on my bike. I had plans to ride in a few bike tours next spring and summer. Although that looks to be impossible at this time, at least I have something specific to pray about. It would be an incredible answer to prayer as well as emotional for me if I am able to do only one of these tours.

As long as there are no complications, I do not have to go back to Ann Arbor until February. The appointments in February are going to be important in determining my progress. I am having an Echo Gram and CatScan done as well as being fitted for a Holter Heart Monitor all in February.