Christmas was good. I like just lying around and being with family. I could not help but soak in the fact that there was a really good chance of me not being here for this special day, and so I appreciated seeing my children so happy. Many of the little things that are taken for granted daily, I appreciate even more. Things like eating dinner nightly as a family, and seeing Gabe to my right, Sarah to my left and Hope across from me. I have enjoyed sitting with Gabe and playing chess and Foosball a lot as he has the week off from school. I have also felt well enough to play Gabe’s new Madden 2011 for the Wii. Only to get smoked by him of course. I have went to where Hope is playing, and just sit down and have a conversation with her. I just really appreciate my family, and what they mean to me.
While in the hospital, towards the end of my stay, I remember one evening, late at night, while all alone realizing the severity of everything that had happened to me, and my future quality of life. I grasped the reality that there is a good chance that I will not be around for very long. I focused on target points that I would like to make it too. At this time it was Halloween. My kids enjoy this time, and I wanted to be there for it. After Halloween, I focused on Thanksgiving, than Christmas, now it is New Years.
I started into the book of Ecclesiastes last night, which is a sermon by Solomon, and read these verses from Chapter 2:10&11:
I denied nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
The commentary part of my Bible had this to say:
In all our accomplishments, even the big ones, our good feelings are only temporary. Security and self-worth are not found in these accomplishments, but far beyond them in the love of God. Think about what you consider worthwhile, where you place your time, energy, and money. Will you one day look back and decide that these, too, were a “chasing after the wind”?
Walt,
I too today was looking at a devotional from Eccl. It was from an insert we had in our church bulletin the first part of Dec. (American Decency Update) It told of the contrast of “life under the sun” and “life under heaven.” For those who look at things through the prisim of life under the sun, everything is vanity (Eccl. 1:2-3)–fleeting and meaningless. Life under heaven, on the other hand, examines life with the knowledge that the Lord is watching all and will render a final verdict. Consequently, those who live life under heaven understand that there is an appointed time for everything and that no suffering is meaningless but rather is used for their good and His glory (Eccl. 3:1-8; 7:1-15 ). We have a limited perspective on the events in our lives and how they fit together for our good and His glory. I think it’s good that you are focussing on targets. After New Years mine personally is looking forward to Spring.
Love in Christ,
Mike Goushaw
Mike,
Thank you for the encouragement.
– Walt