I am a couple of days removed from my three-year anniversary of my surgery. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed with that “loss” feeling of growing up without a father. One of the more difficult struggles of my surgery and recovery was not having a dad around for me. This has also been one of the harder struggles to explain to people. I guess I have come to the conclusion that unless you have had a near-death experience and had to go through that without a father, it would be hard to understand.
I have been able to “Stuff” this issue for a long time, but while I was waking up from my surgery, and everything was coming into focus around me, not having a dad standing over my bed really hit me hard. How I longed for a sentence at that moment that started with “Son……”
There have been many times in the last thirty-six months that I have longed to place a phone call, hear a “father” pick up on the other end, and get to start the conversation off with “Dad, I need to talk”. I don’t have that and it hurts. I am not sure why it hurts more this anniversary than the past couple, but it does, and I am sharing this hurt.
Words cannot explain how thankful I am for the spouse that God has placed by my side and for the children that I have been given. Without them I would be lost.
Proverbs 31:26-31 (NLT):
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
– Walt
Walt's Journey 
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