Walt's Journey

Hope “Is the emotional state which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life”.

While my health continues to be a parachute that is constantly dragging me down, I have felt “off” in many ways over the course of the last several weeks. I have been asking the Lord if he could please enlighten me to what is causing this feeling. An answer has not been given until today. The word that kept popping into my head was “Despair”. When that word comes to mind, I quickly shake it off as something that is too intense to describe my “feeling”.

Today I received my answer with help from a letter from the folks at Ransomed Heart Ministries. In the letter, John Eldredge talks about how he has recently been in need of hope. As soon as I read this portion of the letter, I quickly looked up the definition of “Hope” which I included in the first paragraph.

What grabbed my attention though was the word that is considered the opposite of Hope —- Despair. What is Despair? When you click on the word “Despair” in Wikipedia it links you to the definition of “Depression”. The actual definition of depression is not what caught my eye. What caught my eye was these sentences; “Depressed mood is not necessarily a psychiatric disorder. It is a normal reaction to certain life events, a symptom of some medical conditions, and a side effect of some medical treatments”.

Thanks to John’s letter, I was reminded that my God is greater than all of this! Romans 15:13 says “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.

I will be spending some quiet time with God and listen for how he can fill me with the hope that I so desperately need.

Many have asked me how I am doing on the new medication that is being used to treat my migraines and subsequent symptoms. I started round one of my dosage on Thursday, May 10^th. The four days that followed were awful!  I was tired all the time, sluggish and extremely irritable. By Tuesday, May 15^th I started to feel a little bit better, and as each day passed, I continued to improve. I can tell that some of the medication side effects will continue to stay with me. This coming Thursday, May 24^th, I start what I am referring to as round two, which is an increase in dosage. Two weeks after this, I will begin round three of yet another increase in dosage. I am praying that the result of each dosage increase is not the same as the beginning of the treatment.

While I am very thankful that I am not currently suffering from the migraines, I am still fighting off discouragement of being told that nothing can be done at the present time with my PVC’s. The PVC’s (extra heart-beats) continue to be a daily battle for me, and keep me from ever having a restful night’s sleep.

I appreciate those that ask how they can specifically pray for me. I am forever grateful that I have so many that ask me this question. I do not take it for granted. A swift answer always comes to mind. Please pray that 1) I can avoid the overwhelming discouragement that takes me into its grip often, and strangles me until I cannot breathe and 2) That I will adjust to the new medication and continue to avoid the migraine and symptoms that come with those.

Yesterday, May 21^st I celebrated, along with Sarah, eighteen years of marriage together. The Lord has given me a wife that has taken the commitment “Through sickness and through health” to a whole new level. This past year has been more difficult than the first seventeen years combined, but I know God has a plan, and we have become more trusting and reliant on him than ever. We are thankful for this lesson that we have learned and continue to learn.