I have had countless people say “Give yourself a break, it has only been ten weeks”. I realize this, but being in pain, fatigued and restricted every single day for nearly seventy days now really is getting to me. I pray daily for strength (Psalm 121:2). I am thankful for good friends, warriors of prayer, that are praying and encouraging me often. I hear people say “You look great”, and I do appreciate the kind words, but I do not always feel as good as I look. I try to straighten my shoulders, suck it up, and put a smile on my face, but inside I do realize that people may forget that I still have a long ways to go, and that I still need and value the prayers of many.
Sleeping is still an issue. A couple of days ago I attempted to go back to one pillow, but I could feel a lot of pressure in my sternum when I did this, so I had to stay with two pillows slightly inclined. This may seem like a small issue, but when you have slept for 39 years on one pillow it can be rough, and it is causing me a lack of sleep. My back is also suffering from it.
As some of my Facebook friends know, I was following the story of Richard Holbrooke. When I woke up on Monday morning, three days after his surgery, and saw that he had passed away, I was surprised on how emotional it made me.
There have been several small episodes that I could justify making a trip to the emergency room over, but I try to relax and not jump ship at every ache and pain. I do have a newer random sharp pain in my right chest area that is really annoying. Last night we discussed going to the emergency room, but it is not consistent, and I am trying to determine if it is a bone and muscle issue, or an internal issue that I should have looked at.
Hopefully I will be able to sail into the two important appointments in February without any major issues.
Walt's Journey 
Walt,
After reading your blog today I realized I should have let you know that the death of Richard Holbrooke would be upsetting to you. I knew you would greive over his passing, and yet I wasn’t exactly sure what to say, so I said nothing. I am sorry. I’m sorry for the loss for his family but also for you. You had something in common with this man and I missed the opportunity to share this grief with you.
We do tell you to look good, and you do, especially for what you have gone through. But truth is, we are trying to make you feel better, too. We know you still need our prayers and we do continue to pray for you, but don’t let you know as often as we should. I am sorry for that. We are praying for you Walt. You have touched so many lives and I don’t think you even realize how many or how.
Before your surgery and health situation, you showed grace to men by starting, Room of Grace, and perhaps in other areas. I won’t go into some of those ways on here but perhaps someday I will be able to share them with you in person.
After your surgery, my goodness, our church has come together in prayers for you and in wanting to encourage you in so many ways, but perhaps we have failed or become lax in doing so. I can not tell you how good it makes us feel when we see you at church, knowing you are in pain and yet coming faithfully anyhow.
We love you Walt! Please let us know when and how we can meet any needs you might have. I know it saddens my heart to know you are miserable at times, pain, sleeping, depressed etc…..and yet we want you to continue to share with us, so we can pray more effectively for you.
Love you, Walt!
Veda,
Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes I feel as though I am complaining, yet I try to find that fine line between being honest and whether or not it sounds as though I am complaining. It isn’t always easy. I am thankful for some that do ask me “How do you really feel” 🙂
You and so many at Mayfair have meant a lot to me through this journey and I thank you for your continued prayers.
– Walt