Walt's Journey

Over the course of the last twenty-four hours, my migraines have been intense. I have had several instances of the flashing lights in my eyes, and the ringing in my ears never seem to quiet down. Battling the headaches wears me down and by the end of the day I am exhausted.

On Tuesday of next week, I am having my MRI done. I will also be seeing my doctor and will hopefully get some medication that will help alleviate the headaches.

This past Thursday the Room of Grace started at Mayfair. I prayed a lot that I would feel well, and that my health would not be a distraction. God answered my prayers. We had fourteen guys, and a good friend of mine from the Lansing area was there which was a huge encouragement to me. It was great to be in a room full of guys. The journey has just begun, and I am looking forward to sharing life with these men.

Sarah and I are heading over to Okemos this evening to meet with some friends for dinner. I am looking forward to the evening, and continue to be thankful for each breath that I take.

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I received a call this afternoon from my surgeon’s office at the University of Michigan hospital in Ann Arbor. Both he and my cardiologist discussed in more detail the results of my Echo Cardio Gram and determined that due to the increased leakage around the aortic valve, they want me to take another Echo Cardio Gram in six months opposed to one year. That’s all I needed was something to be concerned with for the next 180 days.

The MRI for my migraines and possible mini stroke was scheduled today. I go in for the test on February 22^nd. I have not had any flashing light episodes in my eyes for the last three days, but I am still suffering from daily headaches that are severe, as well as consistent ringing in my ears. I will be seeing my family doctor this week to talk about what medications will be needed for my migraines.

On a positive note, the “Room of Grace” mens group begins this Thursday night at Mayfair Bible Church. I presented this ministry in October 2009, and it has been neat to see God’s timing as He continually opened doors for this ministry to begin. I am looking forward to surrounding myself with men as I continue to face many battles myself.

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On Monday February 7^th, a genetics counselor from the University of Texas called to talk to me about my willingness to participate in aortic disease research for them. They had contacted me several weeks ago, and said that someone would be in touch.

Some of the main causes of an aorta dissection are chronic blood pressure, genetics and marfan syndrome. Also, many dissections occur in people ages sixty and older. Since none of these causes pertain to me, testing is going to be done to see if there is some form of genetic mutation that could have helped in causing my dissection.

This particular research group is part of the John Ritter Foundation for Aortic Health. I am willing and happy to provide any help that I can to further help educate people about aortic disease. These research studies aim to learn more about the genes that cause people to have aortic aneurysms and acute aortic dissections.  Further identification of the genes that cause people to have these conditions will increase their ability to identify who is at risk and provide information on how to better diagnose and manage aortic and vascular diseases.

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Yesterday was a long day. Sarah and I left at 8:30am for Ann Arbor, and once I was home from all my appointments it was nearly 8:00pm. My first appointment was with my cardiologist.

The first thing that we did was review my CAT scan that was conducted on January 1^st while I was in the ICU at U of M. The cardiologist allowed me to follow the CAT scan image as she scrolled through and explained what I was seeing. It was difficult for me to understand what I was seeing when the graft was up on the screen, but when she scrolled to the portion of the aorta that had the tear, I could easily see it. The tear is a few inches long, and is on the back side of the arch. It is right down the middle of the aorta, and it was explained to me that there is sufficient blood flow on either side of the tear.

I asked yet again why this tear was not repaired during my surgery. The cardiologist explained that repairing even a small tear would require much more time on the operating table, and a large increase in risk. The surgeon felt that this tear was not worth the risk at this time, and we will continue to monitor it going forward.

The rest of my aorta looked clear. Although there was a sense of relief in that the tear was not worse, it was hard to be overly happy knowing that there is a tear in the middle of my aorta. Although it is not immediately life threatening, I am well aware that it not natural for it to be there and is compromising to my aorta.

The other news that came as a result from my CAT scan and Echo Cardio Gram was that my aortic valve is leaking. The valve was damaged during the dissection, but Dr. Patel elected to fix it rather than replace it with a mechanical valve. I asked my cardiologist why the decision was made not to replace the damaged valve. She said that it is better to have a leaking valve rather than a good synthetic valve. As is the case with the tear in my aorta, we will be monitoring the leaking valve.

If either the tear or the valve gets any worse, than I will have to undergo another surgery to fix the issue.

The cardiologist and I spoke a little bit about my restrictions, and I strived to get a better understanding of how much I can push myself on the bike once my leg is completely healed. I was told that I can ride my bike as I did in the past, but I needed to be aware of my heart rate and not to overdo the strenuous nature of any workouts. Both this and a fifty pound weight limit have been imposed on me for the rest of my life.

My next appointment was with the physician’s assistant of my surgeon. She checked my incision, and said that it was healing really well. I shared with her how I have been suffering a lot lately from seeing a prism type light blinking in my eyes along with severe headaches and ringing in my ears. These started almost immediately after I got home from my surgery, but the headaches seemed controlled probably because of the pain medications that I was on. They seemed to go away for a little while, but recently, in the last several days, they have been more frequent. The physician’s assistant requested that I see an ophthalmologist as soon as possible to get those checked out.

There was a very small feeling of relief that I did not have anything critically wrong with me, yet I have to continue to live with the fact that I have a tear in my aorta, along with a leaking valve. Either of which could get worse at anytime.

As long as there are no complications, I have an appointment with my cardiologist along with an Echo Cardio Gram in six months. My next appointment with my surgeon along with a CAT scan will be in one year.

I called up an ophthalmologist that was recommended to me, and explained the situation. They said that I needed to come in immediately to see them, and scheduled an appointment for 5:00pm. I was concerned that they wanted to see me so quickly.

After my eyes were dilated and I spoke for a little while with the doctor, and then was examined, the doctor said that I was suffering from migraines, and we should start treating those right away. Because of the assault on my body due to the surgery, he also thinks there may be a chance that I suffered or will be suffering from a mini stroke. I am going to be scheduled next week for an MRI.

There is a lot on my mind right now as I try to let all of the days activates sink in.

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I am not sure how it happened, but I feel completely overwhelmed with stuff. I feel as though it would be too much even for a non open heart surgery patient. I am trying really hard to hand my burden’s over to the only one that can help me through them. I could list everything that is adding so much pressure on me, but that’s not necessary, and many of them are personal.

The fact that I will always have sever medical conditions is at times too much to think about. There are moments, though few, that I forget about the surgery, the pain, etc. However, very quickly something reminds me of reality. I am not ready to accept that I am not even close to where I was before the dissection. I have grown in so many ways through this trial, but I am still human, and because of that, I cannot seem to accept everything quite yet. I so badly want to be able to say boldly what Hezekiah said after being freed from certain death in Isaiah 38:17 – “Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish”.

The pain in my leg is gone. Once in a while I feel a slight tweak in that area, and it scares me. The pain was indescribable. It consumed me. There was a time that the pain started to subside several weeks ago, but then it came back as painful as ever, so I don’t feel out of the woods with it yet. I am praying that it is indeed healing, and will not come back. I am anxious to get back on my bike, and exercise.

Last night the travel baseball team that I am coaching had a fundraiser at a local restaurant. I knew that I would have to be moving around a lot, and using my loud voice. I managed quite well, but was extremely tired afterwards. Some of my family and a couple of my friends came and showed their support. Discouragement overshadows encouragement many times, so little things such as the showing of support through this fundraiser means a lot to me. For those that were there for me, and you know who you are, I appreciate it more than you know.

I am two days away from a meeting in Ann Arbor with my Cardiologist and Surgeon group. We will go over the results of my Echo Cardio Gram, and CAT scan from my ICU visit on New Year’s Day. This appointment is going to be important in determining where I am and where I am heading in my recovery.

I want to again thank those that reach out to me often. I know I stress this point a lot, but this is my blog, and I am allowed to over emphasize anything that I want to.

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Sarah had the day off work today because of the weather, and both Gabe and Hope had the day off school as well. It has been nice to have my whole family home for a couple of days. I have a new perspective on family as well as on life ever since God allowed me to survive my aortic dissection.

Since everyone was home, we all traveled to the University of Michigan hospital in Ann Arbor together. The original plan had me going by myself and I was not looking forward to it.

Every time I go to the University of Michigan hospital, heaps of memories come crashing in on me. The time that I was at U of M for the dissection, I was flown in by helicopter, so I never saw the route that was taken to the hospital and I never saw much of the outside as well. The things that stick out in my memory were the smells, the paint on the walls, the uniforms of the doctors and nurses and the sounds around me. Each time I go to the U of M hospital for appointments, all of these things are so vivid to me, and have a rather large impact on me. Today was no exception. Whenever I am there, it is never an easy in and out. It is a painful reminder of everything that had taken place.

We arrived at 12:55pm. I had a 1:15pm appointment for an Echo Cardio Gram, and a 2:30pm appointment to be fitted for a Holter heart monitor. I was called back at 1:30pm for the Echo Cardio Gram. Beforehand, I had asked Gabe if he would like me to check to see if he could come back and watch the test. I thought it would be interesting for him, as many kids his age are not able to see medical procedures such as this. Gabe seemed to give it some thought, but if I had to guess, he was probably a little nervous about it. After a few minutes of thinking, he said that he would rather not. Sarah took the kids to the cafeteria for some snacks while I went back for my test.

I had an Echo Cardio Gram a few weeks earlier and it was not a pleasant experience. I am a bit farther into my recovery since the last test, and this time it was not as uncomfortable. I am still not thrilled about taking off my shirt while a computer type contraption rubs cold gel all around my sore sternum. The test lasted for thirty minutes. Once I was finished, I checked in at the front desk for my heart monitor fitting.

The next appointment was scheduled for 2:30pm. I was finished with my Echo Cardio Gram by 2:00pm, and was called back for the heart monitor fitting at 2:05pm. I was not excited to hear that the nurse was going to have to do a little bit of shaving in order for the probes to stick correctly. The nurse shaved a couple of spots on my chest, one of which was too close to my open heart surgery scar for my comfort. Four probes were placed on my chest and the heart monitor was officially turned on at 2:15pm. I was informed that I will have to wear the heart monitor until 2:15pm on Saturday, February 5^th. I was also given a chart to record each time that I feel the Premature Ventricular Contractions acting up along with the activity that I was engaged in at the time. I also have to record each time that I wake up in the morning, and each time that I go to bed in the evening. After my forty-eight hours has passed, I have a pre-stamped pouch that I will place the heart monitor in, and mail back to the hospital.

I was finished with the heart monitor fitting at 2:20pm. Everything had gone smoothly, and the entire time I was in the hospital lasted less than two hours.

We decided to go out to a nice dinner on the way back home. As I sat in the restaurant, along with my family, I realized that underneath my shirt were several wires registering each of my heart beats. I reflected on how thankful I was that God allowed me this extra time to spend with my family. Each day is tough in its own unique way, and I know that I have a long road ahead of me, but I am thankful for such a wonderful family that is on this journey along with me.

February 10^th, 2011 is my next appointment in Ann Arbor. I will be meeting with both my cardiologist as well as my surgeon. The purpose of these appointments will be to go over the Echo Cardio Gram as well as the CAT scan that I had done on New Years Day. On March 3rd, 2011, I go back again to U of M to see my Electrophysiologist concerning the results of my heart monitor. I am greatly anticipating these appointments, as it will determine exactly how well I am recovering, and give me some form of direction. I will go to the February 10^th appointments loaded with many questions. My goal is to find out what restrictions I will continue to be under and receive a better understanding on what I can look forward to in the upcoming months. There is a lot of anxiety involved as I look forward to getting a better understanding as to what is going on with both my aorta and my heart.

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My next appointment at the University of Michigan hospital in Ann Arbor is right around the corner. On February 3rd, I go in to have an Echo Cardio Gram test and also will be fitted for a Holter Heart monitor that I will have to wear for a full 48 hours. I am anxious to hear the results of each of these tests and to see what my next step is in my recovery.

It has been sixteen weeks since my surgery. I still endure daily pain and many times feel as though this is something that I will have to tolerate for the rest of my life. Just rolling over from one side to the next while in bed is extremely painful. I am improving, and it is hard to explain in words, but there is always some form of pain, and mentally, it gets to me often.

I am able to sneeze, cough and blow my nose without excruciating pain, and I am thankful for that as I have had to endure a couple of colds in the last few weeks.

As Thursday draws near, I am trusting and praying that my aorta is holding firm, and that the tests will show this. I am also hoping that my PVC’s have improved enough to avoid a heart ablation.

Thank you to those that continue to reach out and offer support. I am realizing more each day that this journey is still in its infancy.

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I still have not come to terms with my body limitations and knowing that many of those will be forever. It puts a strain on me emotionally, and that is what I am feeling today.

As I was reading in Isaiah this morning, I came across this paragraph in the commentary portion of my Bible based from Isaiah 9:1:

“In our gloom and despair, we fear that our sorrows and troubles will never end. But we can take comfort in this certainty: Although the Lord may not always take us around our troubles, if we follow him wholeheartedly, he will lead us safely through them.”

God knew that I needed some encouragement today. I am struggling and many times people just don’t cut it. I need to realize that God is helping me through my trials.

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It has been a rough few days. I have not felt well, and was afraid that I was either getting a cold in my chest or strep throat. I took Hope to the doctors on Monday, as she was really sick on Sunday with a fever, sore throat and throwing up. She was placed on medications, and then I went to the doctors later in the afternoon on Monday.

The doctor gave me some medications as well, but said that I could hold off on them for a day or two and see if I got any better. The doctor said that my lungs sounded good and although there was some drainage in my throat, otherwise it did not look too bad.

As of today, I feel a little better, so I am going to try to stay off the additional medications.

A bit of good news for my aorta related medications is that I was taken off of one of my pills. I was taken a slow releasing antibiotic in order to avoid any infections, and the doctors are comfortable removing this one from my requirements. I have now settled in to taking a medication and an aspirin in the morning, and then a medication at night.

My leg was starting to feel almost normal, and then a couple of days ago it started acting up again. I have to wrap it extremely tight just to be able to walk without excruciating pain. I still believe that I hurt something because of the adjustments that I unconsciously had to make in walking, etc since the surgery. It is extremely frustrating, because I was looking forward to getting back on the bike. I will have to wait a little while longer to do that now.

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The Lord always knows when I need some encouragement.  The last couple of days I have been down in the dumps. Today I received an email that was really encouraging. Also, a good friend of mine, who is currently vacationing in Florida, sent me an Armour of God medallion, along with a card and a nice note. It can be so encouraging to see the Spirit lay me on the heart of a fellow brother even if they are a thousand miles away.

Along with the email and medallion, I also received a nice pair of TREK road biking socks that a friend had sent to me.

All of this happened today. On top of that, we are having some friends over tonight that I know will be an encouragement to me.

God is good.

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