Walt's Journey

On October 20^th, I had an Echocardiogram and Cat Scan. I had been feeling pretty good leading up to these tests, and was in and out rather quickly. I have mentioned on more than one occasion that simply being in the University Of Michigan Hospitals brings back a load of memories. The next couple of days after each visit usually result in a nightmare or two as well, but I have become use to it. After the testing was completed, I decided not to call in for test results assuming that if there was anything critical, I would hear about it.

This past Monday, February 6^th, I had what I expected to be a routine appointment with my surgeon’s office to go over my test results and ask any questions that I may have. Because of the assumption that it would be a quick in and out, I decided to go on my own.

The office was a couple of hours behind, but I enjoyed the time that I had to sit and relax. The visit turned out to be anything but routine.

It was explained to me that there are some concerns with one of the chambers of my heart. Even though the dissection that I suffered was not directly heart related, the trauma of all that happened has caused several issues which I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I was also informed that there are still issues with my aortic valve leaking. I have an appointment with my cardiologist at the end of this month. Between now and that time my surgeon and cardiologist will discuss what actions are appropriate.

The Cat Scan that was conducted enabled me to view a 3-D version of my aorta. I was amazed at the technology. We were able to see a clear picture of my graft and suture lines. Another picture that was all too clear due to this amazing image was the tear that still remains on my aorta. This is the tear that was too risky to repair at the time of my surgery and something that will have to be closely monitored. The 3-D image enhanced the reality of how out-of-place this tear really is.

Just when I thought that the discouraging news was over, I explained to the P.A. that I have been getting a couple of migraines a week which always includes a flashing prism in one eye, partial blindness in that eye and severe ringing in my ears. The length of time that this lasts does not usually exceed thirty or forty minutes per episode.

As I was sharing these symptoms, I could see the concern on the face of the P.A. These could be the same symptoms that would result in a possible irritation of my aorta graft and suture areas. I was scheduled for an appointment with a Neurologist at U of M, and will be seeing him in a month.

I left the appointment discouraged and with a feeling that I am a ticking time bomb. It was a long hour drive home alone. Reaching out to the guys in the Room of Grace for support and prayer is something that I did not hesitate to do, and they have been a huge encouragement to me.

Asking the Lord for healing is something that never felt right to me. My relationship with Christ has increased my knowledge that healing may not be in His plan. Instead, I do ask that He would reveal what that plan is if He so chooses. For now, the daily struggles with health and discouragement continue, and it has increased my reliance on Christ.

I read a statement from Oswald Chambers today that said “Worry is an indication that we think God cannot look after us.”

Do I still fall to the sin of worrying? You betcha, but I find myself going straight to the Lord more frequently as He is my comforter.

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.