This morning was my MRI that was scheduled on February 10th. It is frustrating that just as I am about to settle into some consistency, another test or appointment pops up. I am starting to see the end to constant testing, and look forward to a break.
I was more discouraged once I was told that after about twenty minutes of imaging, they would have to inject me with a contrast. One small relief as I got closer to the MRI was the thought that I was not going to have to be poked. I know it seems like a small detail, but over the course of the last four months, I have been poked too many times.
Even though I have had a MRI several years ago, I was a little intimidated once I started the process. I lied down on the bed, put my ear plugs and ear phones on, and was ready to go after the nurse placed a bracket over my head. Just prior to being called back, I told the Lord that I was going to be talking to him an awful lot while I was in the machine, and needed the comfort of the Holy Spirit.
As soon as I entered the cylinder, I asked the Holy Spirit to come and provide the comfort that I so desperately needed today. I had a good conversation with Him and felt more peace than I have felt through any test in the past. I used the thirty minutes or so to again thank God for sparing my life and to allow me to use my circumstances to show the beauty and love of Christ to everyone around me.
The results of the MRI should be available within the next forty-eight hours.
My dissection has broken me. It has taken away my ability to do many things that I had taken for granted for so many years, but through this brokenness, I have had to rely on the love and strength of the very person that created me in the first place. As I think about my physical ability prior to my surgery, it is hard to not become overtaken with sadness at times.
From the very beginning, I felt the need to be as open and honest as I could possibly be in order to allow God to use people to help me through the tough times. The other option was to hide my sadness, and to walk around with a fake smile on my face and tell everyone that I was alright. The problem with option two is that I am in a constant battle, so everything isn’t alright. I find comfort in reading through the Psalm, and eves dropping on David’s dark moments.
Psalm 3:1 – O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!
Psalm 22:11 – Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.
God is using this time, especially in the last few weeks, to perform even deeper surgery on my heart. There are some exciting things going on in my life, despite the daily struggles, and I look forward to sharing some of them soon.
Walt's Journey 
“Walt,
I’m sitting in the airport in Atlanta waiting for a flight to Flint. I’ve had an unexpected death. My 63 year old sister. Shiela was a believer so I have comfort in that. Her husband, Al, isn’t so I hope that this event will afford me the right words to lead him to Christ. Please pray for that.
It is always good to hear the update on your condition. You are in my thoughts daily. The Holy Spirit was with you during the MRI test and is with you all the time. Don’t apologize for getting discouraged. You are only human. God knows and will give you the strength to ccontinue to handle this massive ordeal.
Depending how much I’m needed while in Flint…would love to come pray with you. I’ll email if that appears to be possible. What could prevent that is my brother-in-law is very ill in the hospital. The police had to go to the hospital to tell him of my sister’s death. Apparently she died of a heart attack.
I’m so thankful for brothers, like you, and the power and strength God gives us when we are hurting.
Dempsey